I’m pretty sure I need counseling or less estrogen therapy because I am having a serious angst and panic attack about canceling my home phone. Not because I care about actually using the phone, since I’ve had the handsets unplugged so long that they no longer have a charge, but because I’ve had the number for nearly 25 years. I’ve had this phone number longer than either of my two ex-husbands, any of my 8 or so cars, four houses, and 3 dogs. I’ve known this number and used some combination of these digits as passwords, PIN numbers, website logins, and even as a fax line for a bit, especially during political campaigns for all the robocalls. And now cutting ties with the stupid phone which has already been replaced by my super smart phone with all its bells and whistles is giving me an anxiety attack. This is so unreasonable.
I’m guessing a therapist would advise me to go through the mourning and grief period. I sure hope I don’t have to experience all 5 stages – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I think I’m still in denial at this point and would like to speed right on through to Acceptance. Perhaps if I held a wake for the phone number. Perhaps my phone number obituary would read something like this:
Born in 1989, XX-XX-XXXX lived a full life, enjoying residency in Nevada and Connecticut. XX-XX-XXXX enjoyed gossip, shopping, travel reservations and an occasional heated exchange with a telemarketer or lack-of-service provider. It created a support system in times of crisis, fielding sad messages and tears with stoic demeanor. It also celebrated joy and success and its share of late night tipsy whispered conversations and an occasional husky X rated exchange. It showed a vulnerability to power surges and internet outages and is survived by 1 base station, 5 handsets, and two little over the ear headsets. XX-XX-XXXX will always be remembered for its reliability and connection to the world and its ability to consistently interrupt dinner. While we mourn the passing of XX-XX-XXXX, we celebrate its important contribution to all our lives. RIP my phone number and enjoy the switchboard in the sky.
Dang, now I for sure can’t cancel it…damn Hormone Replacement Therapy is going to make me nuts!