This morning, I picked my 99th cucumber. Couldn’t quite reach the century mark because once I filled my hands with cucumbers, I couldn’t properly swat away the cloud of mosquitoes that swarmed around me. Now I have 40 some cucumbers on the kitchen counter begging me to baptize them in the river of vinegar and convert them into pickles.
I wonder if “free to a good home” would work if I put them on a table out on the street. It’s not like they need the same care as a puppy – no watering, no feeding, no poop – and they don’t need to be trained – they’re already pretty good at sit, stay and play dead. Perhaps there is a no kill shelter for the cucumbers that no one wants. There they can grow old and then be featured on the morning news adoption segment, wearing a Sponge Bob bandana, with their handlers telling the viewing audience what a great pet they are.
Because I can’t let them go to waste (thanks Mom, maybe I need behavioral counseling now), I’ll be off to the store for more jars and more dill and spending another afternoon sweating to the oldies in the kitchen, watching over a pot that won’t boil. I’m not sure how my ancestors did this every day, all summer long. When did they find time to tweet?
If you can master the next step of the project and make a really cool label “Living Waterside Farms”, I’d pay shipping and handling for a jar of these world-famous (almost) pickles….
Be careful what you wish for…Christmas is coming…
Take a jar of pickles that have seasoned a bit, pour out the juice and add sugar half way.Then add hot pepper sauce (lots) and then fill the jar all the way with sugar. I add more pepper sauce at this time. Let stand on the counter,turning over every few days,and adding sugar and pepper sauce as needed. Let stand 2 weeks and refrigerate. I make this for Todd and Cam when I go near the holidays. Kosher won’t work.
Seriously?? That’s some kind of Texas craziness!!!